


Don’t you (Forget about the rules of movie night!)

by whereismypie



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Avengers, Avengers Movie Night, But in a fun and loving way, Domestic Avengers, Fighting, Humor, Nat helps a little, Sassy Jarvis, Snuggling, Sort Of, Steve Rogers Swears, Thor eats all the food, clint is so done, everything is fluffy and happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 22:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereismypie/pseuds/whereismypie
Summary: It is Friday Night, which means it is take out food and movie night. All they need to do is decide on what to eat and watch. If only it would be that easy.





	Don’t you (Forget about the rules of movie night!)

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first time I publish something I wrote and I hope all of you enjoy it as much as my wonderful beta Maria did!

It’s was Friday. And one of the rules in the Avengers Tower was that Friday is movie night - unless the world is ending, of course. They came up with this idea a few weeks after they officially moved in. They, meaning Steve, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Thor, when he was on earth and not busy with Jane, and of course Tony. No one quite remembers who came up with movie night, but whoever it was clearly didn’t think this through. When you put six people, some of them more stubborn than others, into one room it is difficult enough to get a word out without getting interrupted, let alone chose a movie and dinner that everyone will be happy with. After the first couple of times it has been unanimously decided that weapons were not allowed at movie night. The incident in question involved Clint, take-out menus and Thor climbing on top of the kitchen counter. They also unanimously decided never to talk of this incident again.

And yet, despite all the fighting and yelling and more or less serious insults here they were every Friday night at 8pm.

 

Steve was the first to arrive in the spacious common room. All rooms in the Avengers Tower were spacious, because according to Clint, Tony was a show off and wanted to overcompensate for something. Looking around the room Steve had to agree with Clint, at least with the show off part. He couldn’t really tell about the overcompensation.

There was a big comfy sofa with enough room for a football team facing a grey painted wall where the beamer projected onto. Steve once asked Tony why it was grey and not white and regretted it immediately. Tony had gone off for almost 45 minutes about projector types and lumen (whatever that was) and he probably would have rambled on if Natasha hadn’t walked in to announce that they had a mission. He usually isn’t happy about someone trying to destroy New York with a giant octopus but he also couldn’t deny that on this occasion he was a little relieved.

Apart from the giant sofa and a dinning table, which was rarely used, there was a kitchen integrated into the common room. It had all sorts of high-tech machines and Steve only knew about half of their functions. But it wasn’t like he cooked a lot anyways, apart from the occasional breakfast omelette, which Thor assures him is good enough to be served in Valhalla. Bruce was the chef of the group, said it calmed him down, so everyone agreed that it was his kitchen and he sometimes let others use it. That is as long as they didn’t move anything around.

As Steve walked over to the take-out menu drawer, he recalled an incident a few weeks ago where Tony moved Bruce’s favourite spatula, because apparently there was such a thing,  one night when he made himself a midnight snack. Bruce wasn’t all too happy about that the following morning and he and Tony had gotten into an argument about who’s kitchen it even was. The result was two sulking men and Bruce refusing to cook for three days. Steve didn’t know the exact details, and he was afraid to ask, but on day four he saw Natasha dragging Tony to Bruce’s room and after they emerged an hour later two of them were smiling and Tony went to his workshop muttering something about moving back to Malibu. They had the most amazing Mexican food that evening.

Grinning to himself, Steve placed the take-out menus on the kitchen counter where they ate most of their meals together, sat down on one of the bar chairs and waited for the rest of the group to arrive.

Nat and Clint were the first to walk in, both of their hair wet and Clint limping slightly.

Steve raised an eyebrow at them.

“Sparring.” Clint answered the silent question.

“Clint got cocky,” Nat added with a smirk and sat down next to Steve, who could practically feel Clint glaring at her. Steve couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, which earned him a glare as well.

“Come on man you should know better by now.”

“Should know what better?” Thor entered the room, wearing his favourite sweats. They had a unicorn running over a rainbow on them. They were a gift from Darcy, who convinced him that unicorns were considered formidable warriors on earth. No one had the heart to tell Thor otherwise. So, he could frequently be seen walking around Avengers Tower wearing them with pride. It was cute, really.

“I beat up Clint.”

“You landed one lucky kick on my knee, “ The archer corrected, his arms crossed.

Thor laughed and patted Clint on the shoulder. “There is no shame in getting defeated, little bird man. Not that I would know anything about it.”

Clint shot a look at Thor. “We could change that.”

“I think getting your ass kicked once is enough for today,” Steve interposed, making Natasha look at him with a mixture of mild surprise and pride.

“My, my Captain and here I was thinking you didn’t even know the word ‘ass’.”

Steve huffed. “There is a lot more where that came from.”

It was the first time Steve experienced Natasha speechless and he had to say he was a little proud.

It was that moment Tony and Bruce walked in together, probably heading in straight from the lab or the workshop where they spend most of their time, tinkering and every now and then blowing things up.  Whether the explosions were on purpose or accidental no one knew. No one asked, afraid of what the answer was.

“What happened to Romanoff?” Tony asked, sitting down opposite Steve and Nat.

“Cap said ‘ass’.” Clint answered, making it sound like he was telling on him in front of his parents.

Steve turned to Tony and told him: “Natasha kicked Clint’s… behind.”

“I though it was the leg?” Thor asked confused, looking at Clint’s back side to check for additional damage.

Natasha started laughing out loud, as Tony shot Bruce a slightly irritated look. “You leave them alone for five minutes.” He mumbled, shaking his head.

Bruce shrugged. “That’s what we get for showing up late.”

“Are you suggesting it’s my fault that we are late?”

“Who wanted to test the acceleration on the new Mark 10 before movie night and ended up wrecking half of the workshop?”

“It would have been fine if DUM-E hadn’t been standing in the way!”

Before Tony and Bruce could get any further into the argument, which sounded a lot like an old married couple fighting over who parked the car the wrong way around, Steve intercepted.

“How about we safe the bickering for dinner and movie choices?”

With that he fanned out the menus on the kitchen counter. There was food from almost every county represented and therein lay the problem. Too much choice.

Tony clapped his hands. “Let’s make this easy kids, pizza and I won’t take no for an answer.”

Tony always suggested pizza and then got horrible upset when someone – Thor – wanted to put pineapple on it.

“How about Indian? We haven’t had Indian in forever.” Natasha proposed.

They had had Indian once together and Bruce spend the whole time complaining that it wasn’t authentic and not spicy enough and anyways it was so much better in Kolkata.

Steve wasn’t getting into that again. “No! How about Thai food?”

“We had that last week.” Clint pointed out.

“Yes, but it was good.”

Clint silently pointed at the list of rules that was hanging on the fridge. Right under “1. No weapons!!!” it read “2. Can’t have the same food two weeks in a row” and “3. ~~No~~ pineapple pizza”.

“Fine,” Steve grumbled. He was sure Clint just pointed that out, out of spite.

“Chinese?”

“Georgian?”

“Nigerian?”

“Cheeseburgers!”

 

It went like this for half an hour. By that time Steve had his head buried in his hands, Natasha and Thor gave up and started looking through the fridge for snacks because they were HUNGRY and this was taking far too long. Like usual.

Tony slapped his hand on the kitchen counter in frustration, grabbed his phone and started ordering pizza, Bruce and Clint right behind him, the former trying to get him to hang up and the latter wanting more sides and toppings. Steve peaked through his fingers, watching Tony routinely ignore the two of them. He couldn’t help but smile at the chaos around him. Sure, they argued and bickered a lot and not always in a playful way but at the end of the day – this was his family. The Avengers Tower was his home and this bunch of unorganised and dysfunctional people were his family. He wouldn’t trade them for the world.

But maybe for some cheese triangles!

“Tony!” he exclaimed, trying to get the inventor’s attention by leaning over the counter and poking the other man’s arm. Tony batted it away like an annoying fly.

“Oh, and some extra cheese triangles… 30… no 40 should do. Yes, the usual address. There is big tip in it for you, if you get here in under 30 minutes.” And with that he hung up the phone and frowned at Clint, Steve and Bruce. “Don’t interrupted me when I’m on the phone. What is wrong with you?”

“I wouldn’t go there.” Natasha mumbled, chewing on a piece of liquorish, which she had snatched from Thor.

Bruce shook his head on them. “If you’re going to eat too much now, you won’t be hungry for dinner.”

“Fear not, we have a great hunger, as it is typical for exceptional fighters.” Thor high fived Natasha, everyone else rolling their eyes at them. Especially Clint.

“Okay now we only need to decide which movie to watch.” Bruce exclaimed and Steve buried his head in his hands again.

 

It was amazing how two certified geniuses, a man highly trained in developing idiot-proof strategies, two high class spies and… Thor were not able to decide on a movie to watch. It seems like such a simple thing to do and yet it clearly wasn’t.

They already had to separate Tony and Nat because they almost got into a physical fight, debating which Batman was the best. Now Nat was sitting on the sofa with Thor, both again shoving sweets into their faces.

Steve took a little notebook out of his hoody pocket and opened it on a list of movies, TV shows and music people had told him to catch up on. “Star Wars Trek is supposed to be good.”

The look of pure horror and maybe even a little disgust Tony shot him made Steve flinch back a bit. “What?” He asked confused. Looking around the room, he could see Thor being just as confused as him and Natasha with her face buried in the cushions, her muffled laugh barely audible. Even Bruce and Clint were smirking.

”What?!” Steve asked again, now directing his question to Tony. Without a word Tony snatched Steve’s notebook out of his hands and took out a pen. No one spoke for several minutes, while Tony was furiously scribbling into the little black book. He was muttering again, which was never a good sign. When Tony handed him back his notebook, Steve could barely make out the original writing. Almost everything had been scratched out and the new list expanded over three pages.

“I don’t-“ Steve didn’t get to finish his sentence before Tony interrupted him.

“How about we ask J.A.R.V.I.S?”

Clint shook his head. “No way. You programmed him and he will choose whatever you like.”

“I can promise you he can be impartial, and he can calculate the best course of action.”

Steve and Bruce exchanged a glance and Steve nodded. He was exhausted. Fighting aliens wasn’t this tiring. He was also still confused why the whole “Star Wars Trek”-thing upset Tony so much. He made a mental note, to look it up first thing tomorrow morning. But right now, they still needed to decide on a movie!

“J.A.R.V.I.S?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers?”

He locked eyes with Tony as if to ask permission or maybe to make sure he wasn’t somehow influencing the AI. Steve sighed. “What movie should we watch?”

Clint crossed his arms again. “Are we seriously letting on of Stark’s machines decide? Really?!”

After a moment of silence, the AI chimed back in. “Based on the movies you previously watched and your reactions to them I have calculated that you should watch ‘The Breakfast Club’.”

There was another silence, as the Avengers looked at each other. None of them seemed visibly upset or outraged. Nat even nodded her head and Clint shrugged, which was almost positive.

“Right. Breakfast Club it is then. Bruce and Clint, you’re on snack duty. Nat and Thor, you get the sofa ready and Tony-“ Steve paused. “Pizza should be here any minute, so you take care of plates and condiments.”

Tony gave him a little smirk. “As you command, Captain,” he said and winked at Steve.

 

Twenty minutes later, they were all gathered on the sofa, the coffee table in front of them covered in… everything. There was the pizza Tony ordered, with extra cheesy triangles, fries, onion rings and chicken wings, as well as every sweet snack known to mankind, Steve was sure of it.

Even though the sofa was huge, they all sat bundled up together. Thor as always closest to the food, because the man had his priorities, Nat right next to him, the two of them eating an unholy amount. Bruce only ate a lot after he Hulked-out and it has been a while since the last event, so he was eating like a normal human being. Clint was sitting on the back of the sofa, his legs to the side of Natasha, who handed him the food she knew he liked the best. Because no matter how much they fight about, well fighting, they always ended up like this, close and warm and contempt about how everything had turned out for and between them.

Bruce sat on the far left, right in the corner and it happened more than once that he fell asleep in the middle of the movie. When that happens, Tony who always sat next to him covered him in a blanket and sometimes, when there was alcohol involved started drawing on his face. The first time that happened Steve tried to make an effort to stop him, until Tony had handed him the pen and grinned. It wasn’t Steve’s proudest moment in life but the morning after certainly was one of the funniest. Luckily for them, Bruce also thought that the little hearts and the moustache they drew on him were hilarious.

Steve always sat in the middle. Tony to his left, Thor to his right. Nat once said if he and Tony switched places, they would be a blonde sandwich. By her and Tony’s grin he could tell that it was something R-rated and it made him grin as well.

“J.A.R.V.I.S. start the movie.” Tony said.

“Which movie would that be, Sir?” The AI asked.

“The Breakfast Club.”

“Very well, Sir.” Steve could have sworn that the AI sounded more than just a bit smug.

Steve leaned back onto the sofa making himself comfortable as the opening sequence of the movie started playing on the wall in front of them. The names of the people involved in making the movie appeared to the tune of a very catchy song. Clint was tapping along to the music, hitting his thighs to the rhythm, Natasha, who sat between Clint’s legs started to wiggle happily as if dancing along. From his left he could hear Bruce humming and when he looked over, he saw Tony mouthing the lyrics.

“I assume you’ve seen this movie before?” Steve asked them.

“It’s a classic!” Clint exclaimed.

“Shhhhh.” Thor turned to them pressing his finger against his lips. He hated it when the others talked during a movie, which happened a lot, especially when they were watching something with science talk in it. Bruce and Tony had a blast pointing out everything that was wrong or didn’t make sense.

But this was not the case now. No one spoke during the whole movie, only moving to get more food and to cuddle up a little closer. Thor was sitting on the very edge of the sofa, eyes wide, head resting on his arms as he watched the movie in awe. Steve was 100% consumed by it as well, just barely noticing Tony tensing up next to him when John Bender talked about his abusive father, and when Brian Johnson was telling the others that he wanted to kill himself, he even got slightly moist eyes. But he wasn’t crying or anything.

 

At the end of the movie there was silence. There is very rarely silence in the Avengers Tower, especially not after a movie. Well, only when Natasha made then watch one of the French movies that she loves so much, where you were so busy reading the subtitles, that you couldn’t really follow the plot, and everyone ended up falling asleep.

Thor stood up and pointed at the screen. “This is a great masterpiece.”

The others nodded in agreement.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the movie,” J.A.R.V.I.S. declared, again sounding a bit smug. He must have that from Tony.

“Now the question is,” Clint turned to the others. “Who is who?”

Thor raised his hand. “I claim Andrew. He had the best lunch!”

Nat laughed and nodded her head in agreement. “Yes, I can see you as Andrew.”

“And Tony definitely is Bender,” Thor continued. He seemed to already have figured this out. “And Bruce is Brian. Brian the Brain.”

“Hey, why am I not the Brain?” Tony protested.

Clint shrugged. “You are. But you are Bender.”

No one really needed to explain why that as true. It was no secret, that Tony and his father never got along and while Steve doubted that Howard ever raised a hand against his son, it clearly wasn’t a happy father-son relationship.

Steve noticed Tony looking a bit uncomfortable, so he piped up. “So, who am I then?”

Natasha tilted her head and thought for a moment. “Claire.”

“The princess?!”

Steve could hear Tony chuckling next to him. “Oh god you so are the princess!”

Now Clint was laughing as well, and Nat’s eyes were sparkling with glee.

“Maybe we should get you a little tiara.” Bruce suggested and not a second later he had his phone out browsing through Amazon. Thor nodded and squeezed his eyes, looking at Steve as if he was imagining him with a crown on his head. “You would look most regal.”

“No come on seriously, why am I Claire?” Steve sounded a little hurt.

Tony turned to Steve, his hands folded in his lap, trying desperately not to laugh. “Well you see, Cap, it’s like this: you are, how should I say? You are the golden boy. The army made you a super soldier and put your face on posters, made you star in very bad movies and paraded you around like a show dog.” Steve knew this to be true, but it still stung when Tony put it like that.

“I really hope you have a point.” He remarked.

“Yes, yes let me finish. So, you were their golden boy and don’t get me wrong you played that part beautifully. Just like Claire does. But under all this show and pretence you actually have… a personality. You are a human underneath all that perfection,” Tony waved his hand, gesturing at Steve’s body. “You have fears and dreams and sometimes I think you might actually have a flaw or two.” He shrugged. “So, you are Claire.”

Steve wasn’t sure how to reply. He was used to Tony being snide and sarcastic, but he wasn’t sarcastic at all right now. He sounded sincere and it gave Steve a warm fuzzy feeling inside. It’s been a while since he felt like that, last time was with Bucky. That was more than 70 years ago.

Before Steve could thank Tony for his kind words, the smaller man put back on his usual self-satisfied grin and pointed at Natasha. “And you, Ms. Romanoff, you are Allison. Quiet, a compulsive liar and a bit of a weirdo.”

Nat crossed her arms, opened her mouth to reply and then halted. With a shrug and a nod of her head she uncrossed her arms. “Yeah fair enough.”

“Wait, wait, wait, so Bruce is Brian, Tony is Bender, Thor is Andrew, Steve is Claire and Nat is Allison. Who am I then? The teacher?” Clint asked.

Thor shook his head. “No. No Fury is the teacher. He is a cross man and he doesn’t like Tony.”

“Hey!” Tony protested, but more out of principle, and not because he though Thor was wrong. Fury and he were known to bud heads from time to time.

“Okay but the question stands: Who am I?”

“Is this turning into an evening with Descartes?” Bruce asked. “Because it never ends well when we talk philosophy.”

Thor slowly nodded his head. The last time they got into a philosophical discussion it was about the meaning of life, which lead to A) Nat and Steve getting into a pretty heated fight and B) Tony making them watch the same-tilted Monty Python movie.

Natasha took a deep breath, like what she was about to say next was really difficult for her and looked up at Clint. “You are the janitor.”

Pain. There was a lot of pain in Clint’s face. He looked like Nat just ripped out his beating heart and Steve had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. Tony, Thor and Bruce weren’t as strong. Thor’s whole body shook from laughter and Steve wasn’t able to resist any longer, joining in.

“Not funny!”

“Au contraire, very funny.” Tony corrected.

“It also doesn’t make any sense! How am I the janitor?”

“You are right. It doesn’t make any sense. But that’s the only person left and, most importantly, it is hilarious.” Bruce clarified, still with a stupid grin on his lips.

“And anyways isn’t the whole point of the movie, that you can’t put people into categories like that and that every person is a mixture of all of the characters?” Clint sounded a lot like an upset teenager and his face matched his tone.

Steve reached over to the coffee table to grab some strawberry twizzlers. “Yeah but that only applies to the students in detention. Not the adults.”

“Captain Rogers, the sass on you today is unparalleled.” Tony patted him on the shoulder and just as Steve was about to turn towards him, he got hit in the face with a pillow. Steve’s eyes narrowed, glaring at Clint. “Oh, that’s how it is?”

“I guess so.”

Steve grabbed the pillow that has just been thrown at him and propelled it back towards Clint. The archer dodged the projectile and it hit Natasha. And that’s how it started. Weapons might not have been allowed at movie night, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t going to be a war.

There was a lot of swearing, threats and Steve felt very guilty for the death of several of the pillows. They were probably very expensive and now the insides of them were scattered all over the sofa.

After they finally stopped fighting and there were no more pillows flying through the air, they spend the rest of the evening debating the movie, Clint still insisting that he was in fact not the janitor. Naturally everyone disagreed with him, because it was just too much fun watching Clint getting worked up.

 

About four hours later Steve woke up to a leg kicking him in the side. The room was dark, except from the soft blue light of Tony’s arc-reactor. He was still on the sofa and the leg that hit him belonged to Thor, who was lying splayed out all over – everyone. His head rested on Nat’s lap, who in turn was leaning against Clint’s chest, who was sitting behind her with an arm wrapped around her middle. One of Thor’s legs laid on top of Steve’s, while the other one, the one that he had been kicked with, was almost pressed to Thor’s torso. It didn’t look at all comfortable, but the peaceful expression on the half-god’s face told a different tale.

Steve turned his head to the left and saw Bruce snuggled up in a blanket, his arm wrapped around one of the broken pillows.

He felt Tony shifting next to him and before he knew it, the billionaire’s head was laying on his shoulder and Tony made a small happy noise. Steve smiled softly.

This was his family.

He was home.


End file.
